Editor’s note: This article was initially published in The Daily Gazette, Swarthmore’s online, daily newspaper founded in Fall 1996. As of Fall 2018, the DG has merged with The Phoenix. See the about page to read more about the DG.
So you go up to a hot girl at a bar. “Hey,” you say, all suave and cool, “can I buy you a drink?” She looks you up and down. “Sure,” she says. You get the bartender’s attention, order her an appletini or a strawberry margarita or some other girly drink, but while you’re waiting for the bartender to make it, she grabs your tie, pulls your face in close, and whispers in your ear: “On second thought, how about you just do me in the bathroom?”
Has this ever happened to you? No? Really? Well that’s… perfectly rational. People don’t just have sex with random strangers. At least, not without talking to them first. You have to get acquainted. And you shouldn’t trust a sex-columnist without getting acquainted, either.
So, hello. I’m Knotty Girl, and I’m here to talk to you about sex. Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’ve all seen sex columns, and so you’re sure I’ll just be another run-of-the-mill person talking about different positions or how to deep-throat. But you are wrong. That’s too vanilla. This is a chocolate-hot-fudge-sundae type of sex column. I’m here to push the boundaries of “normal” sexual behavior and explore different, darker territories.
But since this is an intro, and we’re just getting acquainted, I figure I should keep this introductory. And what better way to get acquainted with chocolate than sensory deprivation? After all, whenever you take the first bite of a supremely decadent dessert, you close your eyes. That same principal can be applied to sex.
Sensory deprivation is based on the theory that as one limits one’s use of certain senses, others get stronger. The goal is to increase touch by limiting sight or sound. Sensory deprivation also works because it increases the mystery. Without being able to see and/or hear, it’s harder to know what the other person is doing. This makes every touch surprising and exciting and new.
There are a lot of different ways to delve into sensory deprivation, especially sight. The easiest method is finding a blindfold. A necktie or scarf will work perfectly – sex shops, especially those with a BDSM section, carry an array of fancy blindfolds/masks but they’re largely unnecessary unless you’re into spending loads of money for that kind of thing. For those of you who relish in the element of control (more on this in coming weeks!), a simple “close your eyes and don’t open them until I say so” command will work as well as a blindfold.
Deprivation of hearing is a bit more straightforward. Ear plugs work brilliantly. Music playing in the background just loud enough to mask footsteps works as well, and has the added benefit of making sure your private time stays inside the walls of your room and not echoing through the walls of your dormitory.
There are lots of ways to play with sensory deprivation, and it’s a nice first step into the world of kinky sex. It’s not intimidating; it’s easy and can be done with things you probably already have. Plus, it is safe and easy to get out of in case your partner isn’t feeling it anymore. A perfect first bite that will leave you hungry for another.